inbox.

[starer]

VOICE TEXT VIDEO VOICEMAIL

Comments

[unclesam]

no, I'm letting you know that he's interested in sleeping with you. that way if you're interested, too, you two can be adults and do something about it, since half the population of the ship is apparently perpetually horny. and if you're not, I can help you not be a dick about it.

also those are emoji. people use them for sexting. they're supposed to represent ass, dick and... well, you get the gist.

[starer]

Ok so let me get this straight. Newt, a fully grown adult, is asking you to proposition me on his behalf. And he did it using pictures instead of words.

Am I getting this right?

[unclesam]

well
technically he said he'd be down to join us, so I told him we're not hooking up and asked him if he was interested in you. he said to tell you he'd show you a good time any time. he doesn't seem to think you'd be interested, and I really didn't wanna speak on your behalf when it comes to this.

the people on this ship are so damn horny.

[starer]

He ain't my type.

And for future reference, anybody else here asks you to pass a message along like that again? They ain't my type either.

[unclesam]

that's a broad spectrum, buck
what is your type?

[ He's not surprised, honestly - but now he's curious. ]

[starer]

People who take the initiative instead of making other people do their dirty work.

[For a start.]

[unclesam]

fair. though technically, he did, by propositioning both of us.

he's a sweet guy, really. a friend.

[starer]

That your way of asking me to find somewhere else to stay tonight?

[Because he has no idea how to feel about that.]

[unclesam]

only if 'somewhere else' is your bed or mine instead of the floor, buck.

nah, I ain't wired like that. I don't do casual sex or friends with benefits. never been interested in sex without romance.

[starer]

Still nothing wrong with the floor, Samuel.

Is that why you're trying to push him on to me?

[unclesam]

ain't saying there is. just saying I prefer having you closer, james.

nah, not tryna push him on you. just pointed out the option if you were so inclined. what kinda wingman would I be otherwise?.

[starer]

We share a room. That's not close enough for you?

Well, for future reference, I'm not looking to hook up with a guy I barely know. That ain't changing.

[unclesam]

hey man, you had me sit in your lap for like half that damn gala down on braccia. I'm a changed man. surprisingly comfortable.

all kidding aside, I hear you loud and clear. can I ask you - what is your vibe with other people? for sex, dating, anything? I promise I ask without trying to set you up. just curious.

[starer]

You asking for a repeat performance? Just say the word, sweetheart.

[You asked for it, Sam.]

What's my vibe?

[unclesam]

worse places to be. but only if you're bringing snacks and drinks this time. speaking of, I think we still got some of that asgardian ale left...

[ who is flirting? not them... ]

I mean your preference. men, women, both, neither? blondes, red-heads, academics, athletes... looks, personality. c'mon, humor me. if you were looking - what would you be looking for?

[starer]

I got you food and drink last time. Seem to remember feeding you some of it.

[Sure, it may have just been more ammo to tease Sam with. But the fact still stands! He knows how to take care of his (pretend) man.]

Are we really doing this right now?

[unclesam]

uh huh. out of the kindness of your heart I'm sure. though the wine was real nice, I'll give you that.

[ Sam knows his wine, and enjoys it. ]

I mean, sure. why not? I'm curious who I gotta look out for next time I'm your pretend husband.

[starer]

Of course. I wouldn't let you starve.

I know how to keep a cover, Sam. We say we're together, I ain't gonna be looking anywhere else.

[unclesam]

a true caretaker and provider

I'm tryna learn something about you, not our fun little cover story adventures, honey bee. though the sentiment is appreciated.

[starer]

[There's no reply for a long time. Mostly because he's trying to figure out just what to say in response to that. He knows he could keep pushing back. Could make a joke of it all, and Sam would play along. But then there's the fact that he really does trust the guy more than anyone else he knows, and-]

I ain't dated anyone since the forties.

[Being set up by Yori doesn't count.]

Kind of hard to figure out what I like these days when it's not safe for people to get close to me.

[unclesam]

[ Look at them, communicating. Sam lets the teasing fade to something kinder to match the conversation. ]

you'll have time to figure it all out once we're back home and we got you all sorted out.

[ Because that is not a matter of if, but when. ]

and no matter what you decide to do with your life from there on out, you'll be able to go at it at your own speed.

[starer]

It's not exactly a priority of mine. So don't get hung up on it.

[unclesam]

all I'm hearing is 'yes please introduce me to mama mabel down at the bridge club, sam'.

[starer]

I was in Delacroix, Sam. Ain't me folks are checking out.

[unclesam]

what, you were there? barely noticed. and hey, what can I say. I'm a fine piece of ass. especially in the new suit.