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Hey. I just wanted to apologize for the other day.
I unloaded all of that on you and I shouldnβt have.
I unloaded all of that on you and I shouldnβt have.
[ It's shortly after their arrival in Yuryeong that Sam sends message to Bucky while chatting with Finn. ]
got somebody here who can heal the mental side effects of our transformations, the hallucinations. not permanently, and he can't do shit about the physical changes. not gonna bring him to you without your permission, but I want you to take that offer, buck.
got somebody here who can heal the mental side effects of our transformations, the hallucinations. not permanently, and he can't do shit about the physical changes. not gonna bring him to you without your permission, but I want you to take that offer, buck.
[ Natasha is just going to wait until Sam's out and she and Barnes are alone in their room to strike, but then she also knows none of them are the best sleepers, so she also has to wait for Barnes to wake up.
It's fine. Natasha is patient, so when Bucky wakes up, Natasha is lying on her bed playing with a small knife and listening for the sound of his breath changing. ]
Morning, Sleeping Beauty.
It's fine. Natasha is patient, so when Bucky wakes up, Natasha is lying on her bed playing with a small knife and listening for the sound of his breath changing. ]
Morning, Sleeping Beauty.
[It's no different to any other day. Barely a couple of hours in and Bucky's jolting awake with an almost silent gasp of air. After three months of sharing the same living space though, he's long since given up on making sure that he doesn't wake any of the others up. It's an unwritten rule that they don't bother each other about it.
Except, none of them seem to be particularly good at sticking to the rules, it seems.]
If you're planning on paying me back for shooting you, could you at least wait till I brush my teeth first?
Except, none of them seem to be particularly good at sticking to the rules, it seems.]
If you're planning on paying me back for shooting you, could you at least wait till I brush my teeth first?
[Seeing Bucky interact with others prompts her to try and reach out again. Not that she needs to, or that he has to respond, but it still bothers her how they started out. She was in a bad head space back then, not that it makes it okay that she threw all of that on him as a result.]
Hey.
[Cool. Great start.]
Thanks for putting all of that together for the newcomers.
[She could just leave it at that, but she won't.]
I know you don't even owe me a response, but after everything that happened, I just wanted to check in. See how you're doing.
[They never spoke in the infirmary, but she did see him there.]
Hey.
[Cool. Great start.]
Thanks for putting all of that together for the newcomers.
[She could just leave it at that, but she won't.]
I know you don't even owe me a response, but after everything that happened, I just wanted to check in. See how you're doing.
[They never spoke in the infirmary, but she did see him there.]
[He can practically hear Sam's voice telling him to be civil. To try and play nice because they're all meant to be a team here. It's just a little easier said than done, considering.]
You ain't my ma. Don't need you checking in on me.
[That counts as civil, right?]
You ain't my ma. Don't need you checking in on me.
[That counts as civil, right?]
[ Everything goes dark when she pulls the blindfold over her eyes. The eyes she opens instead are not on her body, not technically, although the Void still manifests her in her body. Her bare feet barely sink into the liquid ground, and everything is black and empty. She looks around, until she sees the bed.
It's late, of course, so this makes sense. Eleven approaches without worry. There are two bodies in the bed. Bucky, and his friend Sam. Curled together as they always are in this place. Eleven watches them sometimes. Just to make sure they're alright. They're not the only people she checks up on, but Bucky's special. He gave her clothes. He's a friend, and Eleven protects him.
This time, he's not as still as his friend. Tonight, he twists and turns. She can't see the room around them. It's Bucky she's spying on, and her senses of his surroundings are limited. She doesn't wonder long if she should disturb his sleep, sees the way nightmares make him squirm, furrow his brows, and she makes the choice to interrupt the dreams. Reaches out and curls a hand over his arm, and lets the current of his mind pull her inwards. She doesn't mean to fall inwards quite as far, truth be told - only intended to find him, to reach him, and pull. Instead, because she has not done this often, Eleven sinks into the dream with him... ]
It's late, of course, so this makes sense. Eleven approaches without worry. There are two bodies in the bed. Bucky, and his friend Sam. Curled together as they always are in this place. Eleven watches them sometimes. Just to make sure they're alright. They're not the only people she checks up on, but Bucky's special. He gave her clothes. He's a friend, and Eleven protects him.
This time, he's not as still as his friend. Tonight, he twists and turns. She can't see the room around them. It's Bucky she's spying on, and her senses of his surroundings are limited. She doesn't wonder long if she should disturb his sleep, sees the way nightmares make him squirm, furrow his brows, and she makes the choice to interrupt the dreams. Reaches out and curls a hand over his arm, and lets the current of his mind pull her inwards. She doesn't mean to fall inwards quite as far, truth be told - only intended to find him, to reach him, and pull. Instead, because she has not done this often, Eleven sinks into the dream with him... ]
[He can count the number of times he's slept through the night without nightmares chasing him on one hand. Sometimes, they're mild enough that he's able to sleep right through them. Able to bear the weight of those memories long enough to get a few solid hours in.
But more often, they're the kind that leave him twisting and turning. The kind that drags his mind back to a dark place. To a time he wishes he could forget but knows he doesn't deserve to. Deaths are relived. Blood and viscera flowing through all of them. But it's the faces that hit hardest. The lives taken, innocent, but marked as guilty by the one who unleashed him. By Hydra, and their ongoing agenda.
It's the pain he causes. The type that lasts. That lives on in the ones left behind. Those are the ones that sit with him the most. A son, a father, a wife. A leader. A president. Anybody who stood in their way, and all of those who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But over the past month...
It's a familiar face begging for his life. For a wife to be left alone. For a son to not be left an orphan. There's a car, the hood crumpled, steam rising into the chilled air. And there's Bucky- No, the asset. The Winter Soldier, staring down at the man kneeling before him.
There's metal fingers curled around a pale throat. But there's grey hair still black. Wrinkles erased, and a body still young. It's metal turned flesh. Black leather is a blue jacket. And yet the fingers only tighten. Turn white in the power behind that grip. As the words begin to taper off, and white slowly begins to stain themselves red again.
The serum only enhances what's already there. Maybe the codewords were just an excuse.]
But more often, they're the kind that leave him twisting and turning. The kind that drags his mind back to a dark place. To a time he wishes he could forget but knows he doesn't deserve to. Deaths are relived. Blood and viscera flowing through all of them. But it's the faces that hit hardest. The lives taken, innocent, but marked as guilty by the one who unleashed him. By Hydra, and their ongoing agenda.
It's the pain he causes. The type that lasts. That lives on in the ones left behind. Those are the ones that sit with him the most. A son, a father, a wife. A leader. A president. Anybody who stood in their way, and all of those who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But over the past month...
It's a familiar face begging for his life. For a wife to be left alone. For a son to not be left an orphan. There's a car, the hood crumpled, steam rising into the chilled air. And there's Bucky- No, the asset. The Winter Soldier, staring down at the man kneeling before him.
There's metal fingers curled around a pale throat. But there's grey hair still black. Wrinkles erased, and a body still young. It's metal turned flesh. Black leather is a blue jacket. And yet the fingers only tighten. Turn white in the power behind that grip. As the words begin to taper off, and white slowly begins to stain themselves red again.
The serum only enhances what's already there. Maybe the codewords were just an excuse.]
[ They show up without much fanfare. Just sitting on Bucky's pillow one day, all innocent like. Two t-shirts - one tongue-in-cheek and one with a bee. Accompanying them, a bee plushie. The innocent looking setup for a longgame joke Sam has no intention of dropping too soon.
A note sits on this small pile, too: ]
I know you've been stealing my clothes, jackass.
[ If Bucky checks though, Sam's made no efforts to actually reclaim his clothes. The gift and note are decidedly not signs of the sort of annoyance that Bucky might not want to push further, but of the exasperated nature that Sam welcomes having leaned into.
Bucky might also notice that he's now lacking two-shirts of his own, incidentally. He's not the only clothes thief in this room. ]
A note sits on this small pile, too: ]
I know you've been stealing my clothes, jackass.
[ If Bucky checks though, Sam's made no efforts to actually reclaim his clothes. The gift and note are decidedly not signs of the sort of annoyance that Bucky might not want to push further, but of the exasperated nature that Sam welcomes having leaned into.
Bucky might also notice that he's now lacking two-shirts of his own, incidentally. He's not the only clothes thief in this room. ]
Bucky? Just checking in, seeing how you're faring after the mission.
[Now that she knows barely any time has passed for everyone else since the mission, it's easier to slip into life on the station and act like she's been here the whole time.]
You weren't involved in the fight at the end, were you?
[Now that she knows barely any time has passed for everyone else since the mission, it's easier to slip into life on the station and act like she's been here the whole time.]
You weren't involved in the fight at the end, were you?
[ shortly after this thread. ]
so newt is apparently very into you. if you're looking to get laid.
he asked me to forward you this: πππ¦
am I gonna have to explain that to you?
[ Sam hates everything. But hey, who is he to keep this from Bucky. Who is he to assume Bucky doesn't want to go blow off some steam. He's not the boss of Bucky. Or in any way involved in such matters. Who knows what Bucky's been up to during those 6 months of radio silence. Sam doesn't.
None of his business. Totally chill. ]
so newt is apparently very into you. if you're looking to get laid.
he asked me to forward you this: πππ¦
am I gonna have to explain that to you?
[ Sam hates everything. But hey, who is he to keep this from Bucky. Who is he to assume Bucky doesn't want to go blow off some steam. He's not the boss of Bucky. Or in any way involved in such matters. Who knows what Bucky's been up to during those 6 months of radio silence. Sam doesn't.
None of his business. Totally chill. ]
[Well. This certainly isn't what he expected to find when his notifs went off. Though given his feelings towards text and images being blasted into his head, the translations of the emojis into speech leave him even more confused than he'd otherwise be.]
First off, what the hell does "peach eggplant sweat" mean?
And second, you want me to sleep with your friend?
First off, what the hell does "peach eggplant sweat" mean?
And second, you want me to sleep with your friend?
[On the evening of the 24th, Clara drops by the infirmary to try and sneak Bucky his gift. She knows he'll be there, and she also knows he'll spot her. But that doesn't stop her from tiptoeing and creeping along, and literally shoving his gift across the floor so it stops near his feet in the chair he's camping out in.
He'll also probably spot her peeking around the corner with a satisfied grin, thinking she's so sneaky. And then she's off, leaving him to open his Christmas present in peace.
Inside the box is a big bag of sweets that Clara made herself, a small glass piece of art that Clara hand painted a starry galaxy upon, and a little book that Clara wrote and made for him. The book is titled Free. On the first page there's an image of a boy Clara drew that looks remarkably like it might've been him as a child. He even has the metal arm. There's a little falcon on his shoulder, wings outstretched like a protective shield. The page reads:
Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was a very special boy, because he had been taken from his family and was made to be a soldier. But he ran away and chose to not be a weapon. He chose to protect people instead, along with a falcon he met along the way.
On the inside of the front cover is a note from Clara.
Bucky,
I'm not sure if you celebrate Christmas or not, but I wanted to give you something anyway. You're like family to me now, and there's absolutely no escaping family on holidays.
I hope you put up my galaxy someplace you can look at it and it helps keep you calm, no matter what may be on your mind. If it doesn't, let it be a reminder that you can always reach out to talk and I'll be there to listen.
I'm sure you're going to say that you're not the writing type, but indulge me a little and let's play a game. I started the story, and it's up to you to keep it going on the next page. Write a bit and draw a picture, then get the book back to me. I'll fill in the next page, and return it to you. I thought it might help bide the time while you're waiting for Sam and Eleven to come back to you.
Love,
Clara]
He'll also probably spot her peeking around the corner with a satisfied grin, thinking she's so sneaky. And then she's off, leaving him to open his Christmas present in peace.
Inside the box is a big bag of sweets that Clara made herself, a small glass piece of art that Clara hand painted a starry galaxy upon, and a little book that Clara wrote and made for him. The book is titled Free. On the first page there's an image of a boy Clara drew that looks remarkably like it might've been him as a child. He even has the metal arm. There's a little falcon on his shoulder, wings outstretched like a protective shield. The page reads:
Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was a very special boy, because he had been taken from his family and was made to be a soldier. But he ran away and chose to not be a weapon. He chose to protect people instead, along with a falcon he met along the way.
On the inside of the front cover is a note from Clara.
Bucky,
I'm not sure if you celebrate Christmas or not, but I wanted to give you something anyway. You're like family to me now, and there's absolutely no escaping family on holidays.
I hope you put up my galaxy someplace you can look at it and it helps keep you calm, no matter what may be on your mind. If it doesn't, let it be a reminder that you can always reach out to talk and I'll be there to listen.
I'm sure you're going to say that you're not the writing type, but indulge me a little and let's play a game. I started the story, and it's up to you to keep it going on the next page. Write a bit and draw a picture, then get the book back to me. I'll fill in the next page, and return it to you. I thought it might help bide the time while you're waiting for Sam and Eleven to come back to you.
Love,
Clara]
[Since Bucky has been standing vigil at the infirmary, Yelena leaves his gift there instead of his room. By the chair he usually sits in he will find a wrapped gift box and inside is a sweatshirt.
Thereβs a note that says: This is the meme Sam references when he calls you Grumpy Cat.
Thereβs no signature but at the bottom of the note Merry Christmas is written in Russian.]
Thereβs a note that says: This is the meme Sam references when he calls you Grumpy Cat.
Thereβs no signature but at the bottom of the note Merry Christmas is written in Russian.]
[ It wouldn't be the first time these two have conspired to push back against Sam's lack of self-preservation. And so over three months after collapsing on the teleporter platform after the sleeping beauty castle, a few days shy of Bucky Barnes' 108th birthday, Viveca sends a simple alert to Bucky's comms.
Sam Wilson is awake - disoriented, groggy, and not quite stable on his feet, on which he absolutely should not be, and yet is making every attempt to remain standing whenever his partner makes his way to the infirmary. Sam doesn't quite look like he's fully there, like he's grasped his surroundings, or like he's going to remain on his trembling legs for very long. ]
Sam Wilson is awake - disoriented, groggy, and not quite stable on his feet, on which he absolutely should not be, and yet is making every attempt to remain standing whenever his partner makes his way to the infirmary. Sam doesn't quite look like he's fully there, like he's grasped his surroundings, or like he's going to remain on his trembling legs for very long. ]
[Its been weeks since he last went anywhere near the medbay. Weeks since his all too brief check in, following their return to the station. After everything that'd happened during that last mission, the idea of being around others had left him feeling ill. The guilt, even now, still weighs heavily on him. Still keeps him up every night. He's killed again, and not just as the Soldier.
So when the alert from Viveca comes, it takes a while for him to respond. For one thing, he hasn't moved in so long that his limbs aren't cooperating. And for another, he knows that he doesn't deserve to be in Sam's presence. Never has, really. But especially not now.
It's only Viveca's insistence that he gets to the medbay before Sam hurts himself that has him finally climbing to his feet. Finally making his way through the halls. And finally stepping back in to the medbay again just in time to let out a hoarse warning.]
Sit down before you fall down.
[...says Maslow's living nightmare.]
So when the alert from Viveca comes, it takes a while for him to respond. For one thing, he hasn't moved in so long that his limbs aren't cooperating. And for another, he knows that he doesn't deserve to be in Sam's presence. Never has, really. But especially not now.
It's only Viveca's insistence that he gets to the medbay before Sam hurts himself that has him finally climbing to his feet. Finally making his way through the halls. And finally stepping back in to the medbay again just in time to let out a hoarse warning.]
Sit down before you fall down.
[...says Maslow's living nightmare.]
i was too tired to visit in your mind but i can visit now if you want me to visit. also if you dont want me to visit, but im asking permission because its you
[ Eleven takes note of the scene, but doesn't have the social skills to really read much into it other than noting that Bucky has a boyfriend. It means she does give Sam the stink eye though - not out of hostility or jealousy, but because Eleven knows how boyfriends can be, and feels protective of Bucky. He's one of her people, after all - and she's fiercly overprotective of those. That Bucky needs protection, of that she personally has no doubt.
And so she follows him on his hasty retreat outside, having to hurry to keep up with his long strides - curse adults, but double curse tall adults.
When she catches up, Eleven slips a hand into Bucky's, silent but firm, brown eyes raised up to him resolutely. Once attached, she has no plans to leave his side for a hot second here. ]
And so she follows him on his hasty retreat outside, having to hurry to keep up with his long strides - curse adults, but double curse tall adults.
When she catches up, Eleven slips a hand into Bucky's, silent but firm, brown eyes raised up to him resolutely. Once attached, she has no plans to leave his side for a hot second here. ]
[While there's a part of him that's half expecting Sam to be the one following, the footsteps are too light, too quick, for it to be anybody other than Eleven. And were it anybody else, he would have simply continued his escape towards the simulation room. Would have played ignorant in favor of locking himself away for the next few hours.
Instead, he slows his pace a little. Barely noticeable to anybody who isn't paying attention, but just enough to give her time to catch up. And when her hand slips in to his, Bucky's only response is to curl his fingers back around hers in return. They have a reunion of their own to share. But he's already shared enough with the crew as it is. This is for the two of them alone.
So he's silent as he makes his detour. As he leads the way towards the kitchen instead. Sure, it might not offer them complete privacy in a few minutes. But it at least means that he can try to tempt her in to eating something warm. Something that isn't the mountain of waffles piled up in the freezer.
And, for those precious few minutes, it means they're alone when he finally slips his hand out of Eleven's grip so he can tug her in to a hug instead.]
Instead, he slows his pace a little. Barely noticeable to anybody who isn't paying attention, but just enough to give her time to catch up. And when her hand slips in to his, Bucky's only response is to curl his fingers back around hers in return. They have a reunion of their own to share. But he's already shared enough with the crew as it is. This is for the two of them alone.
So he's silent as he makes his detour. As he leads the way towards the kitchen instead. Sure, it might not offer them complete privacy in a few minutes. But it at least means that he can try to tempt her in to eating something warm. Something that isn't the mountain of waffles piled up in the freezer.
And, for those precious few minutes, it means they're alone when he finally slips his hand out of Eleven's grip so he can tug her in to a hug instead.]
[ he waits till a day on which Buckybis wearing that ridiculous "bee happy" shirt Sam got him as a joke. Because if he commits to a dumb joke he might as well commit.
The movie they were watching has long since ended, the credit faded to an empty screen. Sam doesn't really care. He's got a solid arm around him as they're trading lazy kisses. That's a thing they do now and it still feels new and fresh. Precious. Wild how that's their life now. Sam adjusts with a small wince - the blaster shot wound is still healing. Bucky knows - not something Sam could hide forever, but he's gotten Marta and McCoy to take a look by now. For now he distracts Bucky by teasingly nipping his bottom lip, tugging on it gently while smoothing back a strand of hair from Bucky's face. When Sam pulls back, it's with mischief in his eyes - and kiss swollen lips. ]
Hair's been getting long, hm. I got you something, though. You good to lemme go long enough to grab it?
The movie they were watching has long since ended, the credit faded to an empty screen. Sam doesn't really care. He's got a solid arm around him as they're trading lazy kisses. That's a thing they do now and it still feels new and fresh. Precious. Wild how that's their life now. Sam adjusts with a small wince - the blaster shot wound is still healing. Bucky knows - not something Sam could hide forever, but he's gotten Marta and McCoy to take a look by now. For now he distracts Bucky by teasingly nipping his bottom lip, tugging on it gently while smoothing back a strand of hair from Bucky's face. When Sam pulls back, it's with mischief in his eyes - and kiss swollen lips. ]
Hair's been getting long, hm. I got you something, though. You good to lemme go long enough to grab it?
[This is all still new to him. In a past life, sure, there were lazy days spent with whatever woman he'd ended up with that week. Afternoons spent trading kisses, and nights spent behind closed doors. But he hasn't been that person for decades now. Hasn't been in control of his actions for eighty years. And even after, moments like this had felt beyond him.
Until that awkwardly impulsive action that had lead to this. To being able to reclaim a part of himself that he'd thought was long gone. And to do it with the only person in his life that he'd willing to take this kind of a risk with. That he'd choose to lower his walls around.
Because it's Sam.]
Don't need you buying me presents.
[Not when he's already given him so much already. But he does at least loosen his grip enough to let Sam slip free.]
Until that awkwardly impulsive action that had lead to this. To being able to reclaim a part of himself that he'd thought was long gone. And to do it with the only person in his life that he'd willing to take this kind of a risk with. That he'd choose to lower his walls around.
Because it's Sam.]
Don't need you buying me presents.
[Not when he's already given him so much already. But he does at least loosen his grip enough to let Sam slip free.]
Hey Droopy Dog, sorry about getting separated.
But I'm safe, just so you know. I may or may not have made some friends down here, but still definitely safe. You should get yourself back up to the surface and carry on like usual for now, because I've got a lot of time I'll be spending earning their favor I think.
But I'm safe, just so you know. I may or may not have made some friends down here, but still definitely safe. You should get yourself back up to the surface and carry on like usual for now, because I've got a lot of time I'll be spending earning their favor I think.
[ During the Fox and the Hare mission, after the Infiltration team gets released ]
Bucky, are you alright?
Bucky, are you alright?
[ one morning on the station, on each orber's door, the following hand-written note (in fancy calligraphy) will be taped:
the orber can choose to attend or simply listen in to the meeting when it occurs, or they may ignore it altogether. ]
the orber can choose to attend or simply listen in to the meeting when it occurs, or they may ignore it altogether. ]
[ yet another flyer ends up on every orber's door, evidently by the same culprit as last time, except now it's a more colorful display:
the back of the flyer features more details about the play and its characters, and soon enough, an announcement from rita herself goes public, giving more context about the event, which all can sign up for. ]
the back of the flyer features more details about the play and its characters, and soon enough, an announcement from rita herself goes public, giving more context about the event, which all can sign up for. ]
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